Richard’s Corner

5 Films That Never, Ever Should Have Been Remade

Posted on 17. Feb, 2010 by Richard.

I just read Maggie Van Ostrand’s at article at fandomania entitled “5 Movies That Should Never, Ever Be Remade“, and it really got my blood boiling.  Not because I disagree with her, but because I agree 100%.  However, the list of films that have already been remade is a lot more depressing.  Here are five remakes that never should have been:

5. Black Christmas

The original Black Christmas was released in 1974, and helped to define the slasher genre.  Many slasher fans consider it one of the greats, right along side the likes of Halloween and The Texas Chain Saw Massacre.  However, the remake is not and will never be considered a classic.  Take note Hollywood, over-the-top gore and violence does not a classic make.

4. King Kong

Peter Jackson is one of my favorite directors, but ironically, he has also made one of my least favorite films.  That film is King Kong.  The original is a classic, so remaking it is a feat unto itself.  To be honest, Jackson does a decent job, but it never really measures up to the original.  I would argue that the worst part of this remake is Jack Black.  Is it just me, or does he ruin almost every film he is in?  Even when he tries to act normal, he just comes off as a clown that’s faking it.

3. Planet of the Apes

Tim Burton is another favorite of mine, but this film was just plain awful.  In fact, this is probably his worst film to date.  The original Planet of the Apes is a classic, so by default, a remake that measures up to the original is not likely.  My question is…why even try?

2. Psycho

This film would have been number one on my list, but the release of Rob Zombie’s Halloween beat it by a nose.  I will get into that piece of garbage in a second.  For now, let’s focus on this one.  Why oh why would anybody even begin to think of remaking an Alfred Hitchcock classic?  The man was a genius, and his films are timeless.  They are among the most beloved films of all time, yet someone decided it would be a great idea to make a scene by scene remake of the classic Psycho.  For future reference, it is never a good idea to make a scene by scene remake of a classic film.  It just makes it all the easier to compare the films side by side, and see just how God awful the remake actually is.

1. Halloween

Oh…Rob Zombie.  What were you thinking.  You took everything that made the original Halloween a classic and threw it out the window.  I guess Zombie decided horror films that rely on suspense and subtlety were too yesterday, and decided to “re-imagine” Halloween as a House of 1000 Corpses-esque splatter fest.  Honestly, why mess with perfection?  Admittedly, this remake is a good film on it’s own, but it doesn’t even begin to measure up to Carpenter’s original.

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Syufy/Century Theatres Policy Trailer

Posted on 22. Nov, 2008 by Richard.

I was browsing around youtube the other day, and I found this video.¬† It is the original policy trailer that played before movies at Syufy Theatres in Las Vegas during the 80’s.  Anybody who lived here during that time period is sure to remember this.

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Film Review: Requiem for a Dream

Posted on 27. Oct, 2005 by Richard.

To say that “Requiem for a Dream” is not a film for everyone would be an understatement. Darren Aronofsky, the acclaimed director of Pi, has given us a film that will repulse many with it’s explicit and brutal depictions of sex and drug abuse, yet somehow it does so without being distasteful. If you are able to stomach the extreme nature of this film, you will walk away with a very powerful message.

To effectively tell this story, it was necessary for Aronofsky to humanize his characters, which he does magnificently. Through the use of varying film speeds, extreme closeups and erratic film cuts, he successfully immerses the audience in a world of drug addiction. Through this form, Aronofsky is able to simulate the feeling of escape and relief that Harry (Jered Leto), Tyrone (Marlon Wayans) and Marion (Jennifer Connelly) feel when they finally get their beloved heroine fix. However, as the film progresses, we also see first-hand how quickly this lifestyle can spin out of control and into utter desperation and helplessness.

With the character of Sara (Ellen Burstyn), Hubert Selby Jr. (the writer) is making more of a statement about our society in general. While most people cannot relate with heroine addicts, they can empathize with Sara. Sara is addicted to sugar and television, and later obesses over regaining her youth and losing weight. When she is prescribed diet medication by an irresponsible doctor, she quickly becomes addicted and ends up trapped in a downward spiral that closely mirrors that of her heroine addicted son, Harry.

While the final montage is horribly difficult to watch, it is necessary for closure. It is in these final moments that we realize just how far these people have fallen. It is obvious that people who claim this movie “glorifies drug use” have not seen these final moments.

With “Pi” and “Requiem for a Dream” under his belt, Aronofsky has proven to be quite the auteur. His films are riveting , and beg repeated viewings despite their disturbing content.

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Film Review: American Beauty

Posted on 25. Jul, 2000 by Richard.

American Beauty is just that, a beautiful example of American cinema. To be quite frank, I have not been this pleased with a film since seeing Pulp Fiction back in ‘94, but that is beside the point. Sam Mendes has created a movie that makes us laugh, cringe, drop our jaws, and ultimately makes us cry, all during the course of two hours.

Perhaps the best thing about this movie is that it does not focus on any one character, but instead, takes us on a yearlong journey through each of the characters’ lives. Other movies have attempted this (Spike Lee’s Summer of Sam comes to mind), but American Beauty transcends our every expectation. The mistake that these other films make is that the plot becomes scattered, and the compassion we are supposed to feel for the characters is lost. In American Beauty however, our emotions pour out to each of the major characters.

Our story begins with a man named Lester Burnham (Kevin Spacey) who has reached what many people refer to as a midlife crisis. He feels his life has no purpose, his marriage is non-existent, his daughter hates him and his job is unfulfilling. All he wants a way out. A way to recapture his youth. In a way, everyone in this film is yearning for something. Next we have his wife Carolyn (Annette Benning). Carolyn is a woman who has become so engulfed in her work that it has taken over every aspect of her life. “You must project an image of success” becomes her motto, and spills over into her home life. Lester at one point mentions that her shears matching her shoes is no accident, and that she had not always been like that.

These two are not the only people looking for something more. Enter Jane (Thora Birch), Lester and Carolyn’s daughter. She is a young woman plagued by teenage self-esteem problems, who feels she is as ordinary as they come. As her friend Angela (Mina Suvari) tells her, “There’s nothing worse than being ordinary.” There are many other characters in this film, whose stories I will leave you to discover, that have equally compelling stories. One of these is sure to relate to you in one way or another. You may even find their methods of satisfying their needs familiar to your life (I hope not all of them though). That is what makes American Beauty so powerful.

When you do see this movie, if you haven’t already, be sure to watch for symbolism throughout. Perhaps the best example is near the end of the film. There is a moment of realization for Lester Burnham, where everything seems right, but the outcome exemplifies how many things end in life. There is also one line that Lester speaks that captures all of life with a few words. You have no idea what I am talking about now, but think about this again after you see the it. Just look beyond the actual events, and hopefully you will see the underlying meanings therein.

Overall, this is an excellent film that I recommend everyone see at least twice. I have seen it twice, and I still feel the need to view it again. The full essence of this beautiful American film can not be appreciated with a single viewing.

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